In today’s post I’m going to talk about the rules of etiquette for visiting the newborn in the maternity or at home.
The arrival of a new baby is a moment of great joy for everyone, but it is important that friends and relatives take some care during visits. So, I listed 10 basic tips for visiting a newborn, based on my experience!
My recommendation is that the visit be made while in the maternity ward, as the mother will not have to worry about paying attention to the visitors, in addition to having a whole team of doctors and nurses taking care of the baby.
If you are unable to go to the maternity ward, make the visit at home at least 2 weeks after the birth, as the first days are extremely exhausting: the arrival of the baby creates a big change and until the mother gets used to it, it takes a while…
See the 10 etiquette rules for visiting the newborn:
1) Avoid visits on the same day the baby was born
Most moms spend many hours in labor and after babies are born they are EXHAUSTED! Depending on the time the baby was born (if it was dawn, for example) it is better to leave the visit for the second day. Of course if you’re very close or a close relative – like grandparents and aunts – Mom will want you around, but it’s always good to ask first! Common sense is everything!
2) Never visit the new mom at night
I know that a lot of people work and can only go at this time, but know that the newborn really brings a lot of change in the routine and it takes a while for mom to get used to it. So, unless Mom insists a lot, visits after 8pm don’t even think about it!
3) Never ask to carry the baby on your lap!
If the new mommy wants you to hold the baby, she’ll offer it to you. Otherwise, don’t ask. Ask to wake the baby then, NO THINKING! Believe me, there are people who ask for this nonsense, lol!!!
4) Baby photos
If you want to take pictures of the baby, ask Mom if you can! If she allows it, don’t FLASH at all!
5) Quick visit
Pay a quick visit: stay short at the maternity or at home. I believe that a view of up to 40 minutes is ideal. If you’re a close relative, you can stay as long as you think is necessary, just pay attention if Mom isn’t tired or wants to take a nap.
I remember being so tired when Olavinho was a baby, that when he slept during the day, it was the time when I took the opportunity to rest too.
6) Feeding time: leave mom and baby alone!
As soon as the baby is born, mothers are a little stressed about the moment of feedings for several reasons: they don’t know if the milk is going to come down, the beginning of the feedings hurts too much, the breasts are extremely large, etc. In other words, don’t be at all watching the mother feed the baby! Leave the room and leave this intimate moment just between them!
7) Can you take children?
I always think it’s good to call ahead and ask Mom, as it’s a very personal decision, I really enjoyed receiving all the children who came to visit us, but if you’re not intimate, better not take it! I remember that when Olavinho was born, there was a little cousin of his who went to visit him in the maternity ward and, the next day, we found out she had chickenpox! Well, you can imagine our despair… And until we were sure that Olavinho was fine, it was more than a week! Even the pediatrician was super worried! That’s why it’s always good to ask beforehand and make sure that the children you’ll be following do not have any illnesses at all!
8) Mom is usually very sensitive in the first days of birth
Don’t make comparisons of the type of delivery, the weight the child was born with, or whether or not you have to breastfeed! Remember that WANTING is not POWER! And only those who are mothers and have been pregnant know that. I really wanted to have a normal birth but unfortunately it wasn’t possible… So, it’s very inelegant when someone arrives (usually that friend/one who hasn’t had a child yet) saying about the ideal type of birth, the ideal weight etc.. !
9) Favors
It’s not nice for the visitor to want to take souvenirs to other people who are not on the visit! Usually, party favors are counted. Mom is sure to deliver some extra party favors if she wants the visitor to give it to someone else!
10) Smells
Lastly, it’s nice not to arrive with too strong a perfume or cigarette smell (obviously) for a visit to the newborn!
See also some gift ideas to take during the visit:
1) Flowers
Contrary to what other sites say, I think YOU CAN bring FLOWERS! Every woman likes this kind of gift! The only downside is that the flowers must be outside the maternity room as they can cause allergies in the baby! If the visit is made at home, for sure, Mom will leave the gift out of the baby’s reach and will use it to decorate the house, which will be very useful, as she will be unable to go out to make this type of purchase for a long time!
2) Chocolate
I think it’s better to avoid it. Usually mothers are wanting to go back to the old way and those who breastfeed usually have restrictions on eating chocolate and other things that can cause colic in the baby.
3) Bringing a little gift to the baby is no mistake!
It can be clothes, accessories, toys, trousseau pieces etc. Remember that if your baby has an older brother or sister, you should bring him/her a little gift too. It’s a time when mom is really worried about the jealousy the older one is feeling!
4) Book
Book is also a good gift option for moms. They can be ones that help to stipulate the routine, for example.
If you liked the tips, leave a comment! I’d love to hear from you!
[…] See The 10 tips for visiting a newborn in the maternity or at home! […]